The anniversary you didn't know about

It's a long post, but please read it completely when you have a moment. You will understand then...

***

I logged on today since I had a certain post in mind, but I got sidetracked due to what I could see on my dashboard amongst the posts of the friends that I follow.

On Dani's blog, there was a name and a picture of someone I recognized immediately (Nick Gaddis) and then I saw the first line of what she wrote:

*(1985 - 2009).

My first thoughts: "Oh no..."

I had read about this courageous young man before on Dani's blog. Nick had been diagnosed with Hodgkins lymphoma in 2000 and had been battling it ever since.

My heart aches for this young warrior and the family he leaves behind.


***

My original post would have been about a dress I bought today. Not just a dress, no, THE dress. The one I plan to wear when Kenneth and I will be renewing our vows later this year.


We had some kind of '50's party in our mind (a classy one, not the poodle skirt one) and this dress is just right for it.

When I was going home yesterday evening I caught a glimpse of what I thought was a skirt or a dress in a pale colour when I passed the window display of a store I sometimes visit. It was late and it was freezing (really freezing - and I was on my bike!) so I didn't turn back to have another look. Today I didn't have to work so I went to have a closer look.

There it was: a pale grey dress, flowing knee length skirt, halter neck... just perfect. And when I went back later to try it on I was amazed that they still had my size and it fit me perfectly.

It looks a little like this dress, but with a halter (since I haven't got the necessary curves to hold up a strapless dress ;).




***

2009 is a special year for us.

On July 23rd we will be looking back on our first kiss which was 15 years ago. We have been together ever since (and sure, it didn't stop at just that first kiss ;).

On December 10th we will celebrate 10 years of marriage. Happy years.

But there is also another anniversary. A 5 year anniversary.

You see, the story about Nick Gaddis hurt me extra hard. Because I know...


In 2004, on July 30, after a year and a half of complaints of coughing, rashes, tiredness and a bump on my neck I was finally diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma. My son was 4 at the time and my daughter only 18 months. I had 16 rounds of chemo during a period of 8 months. I've weighed 10 kilos less than I do now and you could count my ribs back then. I cut my hair in a short bob and lost more than half of my hair (I was lucky, I didn't lose it all). I was practically eyebrowless but never lost my sense of humour. I was sick, I was tired,... but the chemo worked and I've been in remission ever since.

I was lucky. I am lucky.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if they had found out sooner. The bump on my neck was examined when my daughter was only 1 month old. A swollen lymph node, nothing to worry about... If they had done a puncture then, they would have known and they would have made their diagnosis before I ever got to stage III. Then again, I breastfed my daughter for over 8 months and that made us really close. I wouldn't have been able to breastfeed when undergoing chemo therapy. So, in the end, I'm glad they only found out when they did. I'd never have wanted to miss out on that.

***

I've been blogging for nearly a year now and I have never mentioned this to any of you. I thought the moment would present itself so I could tell you, since after all, this is part of who I am. Part of who I have become.

That moment came today, when I learned about the passing of Nick Gaddis. So in a way this is my small tribute to a young man I never even knew but whom I will keep in my heart. Forever.